Our marathon month of ministry has come to an end. We’ve officially been back at real life for a week and I still feel like our house has been hit by a tornado which is truly unfortunate because the best dog sitter in the world deep cleaned everything. For example: the inside of our trash cart was cleaned. It had crossed my mind to spray it out before we left but that obviously didn’t happen. She’s seriously amazing. But we cluttered up the house in no time flat and it hurts my eyes to even look around.
Our boy has adjusted back to real life really well. He’s been sleeping through the night again (insert all the praise hands) and has been rocking at independent play.
The overstimulation of camp and campers is real but Dwayne knows how to wind down. I found him yesterday laying on his back on the nursery rug just “reading” a book.
For me, it’s been hard to come back to reality.
Some moments I am completely fine and other moments have me filled with anxiety.anxiety.anxiety. It completely shuts me down. Simple tasks become mountains and it’s a victory just starting a load of laundry. My list of things I want/need to complete feels like a novel which in turn causes me to complete nothing.
And very unhealthy.
So this morning when I woke up (at 8:50 – THANKS DWAYNE!!) I decided that something needs to change and it needs to be drastic. I want to refocus on real life: on creating a space for my family to find rest; on finding and making the time for Jesus; on taking care of myself and my body by feeding it with real and healthy food; on the balance that is working and being a mom and being a wife. And in order for me to do that right now, I think, is to rid my life of the need to check instagram and snapchat and facebook. I say I don’t have time to grocery shop or meal plan or clean etc etc etc. But I have time to watch every single instagram story and to stay completely caught up with my feed… I can’t even think about how much time I waste trying to stay up to date with other peoples (read: strangers) lives.
So I’m deleted the apps from my phone for a week. Starting small. But hoping for big change. For a refocus of huge proportions.
Even writing that down I am worried about all the things I’ll miss. FOMO on strangers day to day “perfectly curated” lives? Do you see the problem yet?
I’ll keep you updated on how this goes. I assume that only good things can come from it.
Being present in my life, for my son, for my husband. Only good things can come from that right?
I’m praying that the Lord does a work in my heart and removes that longing to be “connected” at all times.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings and thoughts on this Saturday morning. Wish me luck!