I debated not doing a bumpdate this week, so my answers below might be a bit brief.
This has been the longest week of my pregnancy so far which in turn has made me not want to relive it to write about it. The pubic pain got to an unbearable point many times last week and on Friday morning I hit a breaking point. I turned to Mike as I woke up in tears and told him I wasn’t sure having this baby on the inside of me was worth it anymore. Of course I don’t mean that because I know that in me is the best and safest place for him right now, but I broke.
This baby boy will absolutely be worth it. He is already so worth it.
It was a year ago this week that Mike and I mourned the loss of our first baby. The baby that was only safe inside of me for 6 weeks. The baby that we’ll never get to meet on this side of life. It was a week filled with tears, confusion, and amazingly, peace. I didn’t question for a moment that the Lord was working in those moments and that His hand was over it all.
And now a year later. Another week filled with tears and pain. But as I type this, I can feel my 31 week, thriving, and healthy little boy kicking and hiccuping away. And again I am filled with peace and have comfort that God’s hand is over this too.
Every ounce of me wants this. I know without a doubt that “mom” is who I am supposed to be. But I am desperate for some relief.
We welcome your prayers, prayers for healing and pain relief.
How far along: 31 weeks!
How big is baby: About the size of a pineapple!
Gender: It’s a BOY!
Movement: Lots of movement. I am pretty sure he changed positions this week and is head down. His kicks have moved from my far right side to the top of my belly near my ribs. I also felt hiccups for the first time this week!
Sleep: Still sleeping great!
Symptoms: Congestion is still much better than it was and exhaustion has taken over my body – an afternoon nap is almost always in order.
Pelvic Pain: This week has been my hardest in terms of pelvic pain, as mentioned above. I did get into a chiropractor that specializes in pregnancy and we’ve started adjustments. She scheduled me for 18 appointments up until my due date! Unfortunately, this kind of pain is hard to treat and she considers my specific case to be severe, but we are both hopeful that relief is around the corner even if it’s a 3 steps forward, 2 steps back process.
Labor signs: No labor signs.
Cravings/Aversions: Loving fresh (cold) fruit and ice cold water. Still not loving chicken.
Maternity clothes: Yes! I am still mixing and matching but I know a few weeks from now I will be exclusively maternity and Mike’s clothing.
Workouts: No workouts due to pain.
Nursery: No progress this week.
Mike: He is incredible. His middle school retreat was this last weekend. Just 8 days post knee surgery and he handled it way better than I ever could. He wasn’t able to rest or do his recovery exercises as much as either of us would have liked, but he survived and ran an incredible weekend retreat for his students. I decided last minute that with my condition and exhaustion levels that I couldn’t go with him so we spent the weekend apart. I am so proud of him and his dedication to the work he’s doing but I am also so so glad he is home and that we are back to sleeping under one roof.
Missing anything: Nothing new.
Best part of the week: Making my first appointment with the chiropractor and her affirming that my pain is real.
Looking forward to most: Continuing to see the chiropractor and seeing results. Also I am excited for a real day off this week. Like, I’m not leaving this house all day (except for an adjustment) and it’s going to be glorious.
Worries/Concerns: Baby is healthy and we are so grateful for that. Momma is discouraged. 9 more weeks feels very discouraging, but I need to take it one week, day, moment at a time. We’ll get there.
Thanks for sticking through this with me. Pregnancy is quite the journey.